Wednesday, May 12, 2010

When Family is Toxic

I'm really angry right now. Really, really, really angry.
To make it worse I have horrible stomach cramps that are just making me crankier.

I told my Grandmother on Monday that I wouldn't be staying. I told her as gently as I could, given the circumstances. She was upset, of course, but took it well. This morning she calls me and tells me she's not up to coming to take Little Fish to school. This was fine, I didn't mind. I knew she wasn't feeling well but I couldn't help but wonder if this was a punishment. Anyway I got Little Fish to and from school via other means, so it really wasn't a problem.

Mother came over this afternoon and tells me that Grandmother's friend (who is a nurse) believes she has had a Mini-stroke! Of course, this is all my fault. Mother didn't say that, but she said it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't told Grandmother. Like I said to Mother, what was I supposed to do? Lie? Disappear one day never to return? Send her a postcard after the fact??

Grandmother is deeply saddened because she fears that she is at an age (she's 78) where this may be the last she ever sees of me, the little Fish and the little Lioness. Whilst this may be true, I cannot wait for her to die so that I am allowed to move. That is just emotional blackmail.

Grandmother called tonight, and sounded better, said she would come tomorrow to take Little Fish to school. She still has the flu, but has recovered from this morning. I bid farewell to her and soon after Mother calls. Apparently Father had called her and asked if she knew how sick Grandmother was. Father then proceeded to barrage Mother for not changing my mind about moving.

Father also asked why Grandmother paid for the wood for my fire. Mother explained that my Uncle (who chopped and delivered the wood) turned up unannounced and Grandmother offered to pay him. I would then get the money off Mother and reimburse her. Father was furious and asked why I hadn't given her the money yet, which Mother again explained; because I hadn't SEEN Grandmother since then. I have the money in my purse and I will be giving it back to her tomorrow.

Mother said the whole conversation with Father was horrible, and they left with Mother saying "goodbye" and hanging up without waiting for a reply. This is SO typical of my family. All the stupid inter-fighting and blaming each other for shit. And they honestly think they could talk me into staying.... staying with THAT!

Goddess of Money
and earthly delights
I ask for your help
in my personal plight.

I'm selling my car
I really need cash
my bookcase and furniture
to help make the dash

I ask you to fill
buyers pockets with dough
then send them my way
where their money will flow.

I need buyers fast
so I can make a deposit
on my removalist account
I don't him to toss it.

The tickets are booked
but I still need the money
so I can get all my stuff
to NT with my honey.

So Mote it Be!
impromptu spell-poetry.

No comments:

Post a Comment