Monday, April 26, 2010

11 Degrees

It's almost midday and it's 11 degrees. ELEVEN FUCKING DEGREES. I shouldn't complain, I was the one who said she liked the cold. I was the one who had romanticised it. Foolishly, of course, I had remembered my first winter in Bx with Mojo. The freezing hands and the scarves and the hot steaming coffee and the snuggling up on the couch to play xbox and the warmth of movie theaters. That's what I remembered, and that's what I somehow envisioned Bx to be like this time around... only it doesn't work when Mojo isn't here.

My fire doesn't work well, it's not efficient. I'm going through wood like no tomorrow. Not only can I not afford to go through wood this fast, it's a real pain in the ass to have to restart my fire every couple of hours. I actually have to leave the door slightly open to keep it burning!

I just want to be warm. I just want to be in Darwin with Mojo and the sunshine. I really miss being warm. I used to prefer being cold, but now I just can't stand it. I just want to curl up and sleep... hibernate. Worst of it is... it's not even winter yet!!!

I have to get out of here. I'm going to talk to M (psychologist) tomorrow, seriously about leaving. I just cannot stand it here. :(

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