Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The transformation continues

Had psychology today.
Was a good session.

After wards I sat down with my Nanna and talked about it. She asked me point blank was I "unconditionally in love" with Mojo? I replied that yes I was. She couldn't understand and asked me what it was about him that I loved so much even after everything he had put me through. I told her I would like to ask him the same thing. I went on to elaborate that Mojo was not the criminal in our union, I was EQUALLY (if not slightly more) responsible for the demise of our love life. I disclosed a few things that I had spoken to M about; my issues with motivation, my hypocritical tendencies (times I'd told him we needed to do things to help our relationship and then refused to do those very things when he suggest them), the fact that I put him through as much crap as he had put me through.
I also tried to explain to her that there were parts of Mojo that fit so beautifully in my heart, I couldn't ignore them. I know she didn't really understand that but she tried and I appreciate that.

So now she knows that there is a very real possibility that I will return to Mojo, I didn't lie about it. She was sad, and said it broke her heart when I left but that she thought she understood.

Seems I'm transforming my family one member at a time. It's a good feeling. I feel calm now, like I don't NEED to run away. That I can leave in my own time when I'm ready. Don't get me wrong, I'm ready now. I would love to be with Mojo NOW, but I know I have a bit more to do here. Some more cleansing before I go back.

I know when the timing is right the Goddess will take me to Mojo.

No comments:

Post a Comment