Friday, April 30, 2010

Wont somebody think of the children.

SOMEONE needs to think of my children, because apparently I am not. At least that's what Mother says. I can't possibly be thinking of what's best for them if I'm thinking about going back to Hervey Bay/Mojo.
I tried to explain to her that I AM thinking of the children and *I* think that being with their father who loves them is the best thing. I think that me being happy and doing what makes me happy is the best thing for my children.

Basically because I think that NOT staying in Bathurst is the best thing that = not thinking of the children. The guilt came thick and strong, and I think a small part of it believes it almost... what if this time isn't different, what if love just isn't enough, what if I really hate it there, what if I can't handle the heat?

I'm terrified of failing, but I love Mojo too much to not try. I want to make sure I have absolutely 100% completely exhausted all options. I love him :(

Mother pointed out that this house will be very hard to rent, so "good luck breaking the lease". God I feel so defeated. I just want to be with the man I love, I feel like it's becoming so difficult. I'm tired and weary and cold.

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