Monday, April 19, 2010

The Family Chains..... err... I mean ties.

I don't know what it is about my family, but I always feel so very drained after I've spent time with them. It's no wonder I can't get well - they are sucking the very life out of me.

Every moment spent with them makes me yearn to be in Darwin with Mojo more and more. I love my family. They are, after all, my family; but I just don't feel connected to them. If they were just people I knew I would spend as little time with them as possible; eventually dropping them out of my life.

I feel so horrible saying that when they've spent so much money on me. I want them to stop, and I've asked them to do so but I cannot explain why I don't want them buying me things. I can't tell them, just yet, that I will not be staying here for much longer. I intend to pay them back as much as I can. I will sell all my belongings, even the things I said I wouldn't. I just want to go home and if home is where the heart is then mine is in Darwin.

I wish there was an easy way to do this. The perfect, fool proof reason to leave. Until I can unravel myself from my families clutches my own personal reasons - the real reasons for leaving - will simply not be good enough. They will be shut down. I don't want to burn my bridges; which is why I don't want to take that route.

Mojo, I love you. I know we're meant to be in Darwin together. I know I'll be there soon but it's so hard for me to be patient. Tomorrow couldn't be soon enough for me to see you again.
I wish I could hug you.

/end emo transmition

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