I saw the shrink today. It went nothing like I expected.
So I don't have to keep called her "She", I will call her M.
I gave her The Rundown. My history, my childhood experiences, my life with Mojo. M said I have good reason to be angry. She said I have good reason to feel like I'm not in control.
M wants to refer me to a Depression Clinic at The Black Dog. Because I'm from 'out of town' it would be a condensed 1 day clinic. She also wants to refer me to a Psychiatrist to get properly diagnosed with S.A.D, which is biological and something I can be treated for.
M stressed that I should not move now. She said we need to get to the bottom of my S.A.D (if that's what it is) and the crap with my family etc. She said if we don't and I run off the be with Mojo without dealing with this stuff I won't be equipped to do the relationship justice. She said she wants to see me weekly for as long as I'm here. I said I didn't even want to be here and she said that we would deal with that a bit more next week.
I'm just kinda sad now and I wanna cry. I haven't cried in so long. I just wish if I squeezed my eyes closed and wished myself away that I would wake up and be back in Hervey Bay or in Darwin with Mojo. I'm kind of frightened, because I don't know what's happening. I'm getting mixed signs and I don't know what to do.
I want to go home. I'm cold.