Wednesday, April 28, 2010

ebb and flow

I don't know why, but I feel really defeated today. I'm tired and weary and I don't know what to do. I guess I'm feeling unattractive and a bit insecure. I'm frustrated and struggling between being practical and following my dreams.

There is a part of me that just wants to sell everything and go, but that practical part of me tells me that can't happen. That I need to have 'things' like the fridge and the beds and the sofa, otherwise I'll be letting my children down.

We could just get a fully furnished house, there are plenty of those up in Darwin. It's always the same around this time in the afternoon. The cool is setting in, kids are home, Mojo is off somewhere doing his thing and I'm feeling hopeless.

I'm really, really nervous that the $950 quote I was given to move some of my things to NT is wrong. All the others have been $1500 and above (for the fridge, sofa, 3xbeds and mattresses, the TV and 10 boxes) and it IS Mercury Retrograde after all; notorious for things hidden in the small print, and communicative disasters.

I know I should just be cool, everything will happen in it's time - when it's supposed to. It's hard when you miss someone, it's even harder when you miss them because of your own doing. I needed to be here, to see M, to get my license and a few other things but still... *emo*

till next time

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